


Now or Never

by RueSinger



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: F/F, mabifica
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 10:56:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14495433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RueSinger/pseuds/RueSinger
Summary: A love confession is never easy. But what if that love is a close friend? Pacifica struggles with her own thoughts and feelings alone in her room. It's now or never.





	Now or Never

Pacifica stared up at her ceiling. Her fan spun in slow, never ending, circles. The world was slowly fading around her. Every now and again a strand of blonde hair would flutter and then fall back into place. The young woman was deep in thought. It had been five years since she met the Pines twins. Five years of fun. Five years of getting to know each other. Five years of adventures. Five years….. was apparently enough time for a emotions to take form. 

Her chest rose, and then fell as the air left her. Blue eyes closed, and her forehead wrinkled. When had it started? Damn she didn’t know. These feelings had snuck up on her in the last five years and she hadn’t even seen it coming. If she wanted to, she could try to blame it on a love potion she’d accidentally stumbled across from the Love God himself, or say she was a Pacifica from a different dimension. But what would the point be? Her head spun with questions, and no answers.

Well, she did have one answer.

The answer was something she didn’t want to admit to. The answer was the rough road. The answer was a cliff, and she was falling fast. Soon she’d hit the pavement and everything she kept guarded inside would be shattered on the ground for everyone to see. What would she do then? She’d probably be rejected. She’d probably cry. She’d probably move on.

Everyone moved on from heartbreak, so why wouldn’t she just try and get it over with? What was she afraid of? She should just pick up her phone and…..

Stay in the closet.

What was Pacifica Northwest more afraid of? Rejection? Coming out? Or both? Both were terrifying on their own, but together? It’d be almost unbearable! Not to mention, she might lose her spot within her friend group, and she’d be all alone again…

The blonde girl let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed her eyes. She couldn’t believe how much she’d been stressing over this. She shouldn’t be stressing over this! Her friends wouldn’t just leave her because of her preferences. Love wouldn’t matter. Right?

Then again….

What if Mabel became uncomfortable? What if she never wanted to see her again? That would be worse than losing all of her friends. Mabel hand become her entire world! Losing her would be like losing a piece of herself. She knew she’d be completely lost without her. Mabel put the light in her day. Her sunny smile and outgoing personality were infectious, and she never failed to make Pacifica laugh.

Time was runnin out for Pacifica to make a decision. Before she knew it, they’d all be heading of to college, and Mabel might meet someone, some boy…. She had to act and accept whatever happened, or stand still in a moving world and always wonder “What if?”.

Speaking of a moving world, times were changing, and people thought differently. Her friends wouldn’t leave her, and an accepting person like Mabel wouldn’t leave her. Things would be okay no matter what happened, and Pacifica had to hold on to this belief. She knew this was the truth. It had to be the truth. Even if she did turn out to be wrong, and everything she thought to be true turned out to be wrong, even if all of her dreams were crushed at least she could say she tried. At least she wouldn’t be left wondering “What if?”. Pacifica would be able to move right along with the rest of the world. She’d probably meet someone else and probably move on with the rest of her life.

Everything would be okay….

Everything would be okay….

Everything would be okay….

Pacifica kept repeating this phrase inside her head as she stared up at her ceiling fan. The fan seemed to be keeping tempo for her racing thoughts. The steady click click click signaling the change of each idea. Five years had also passed by like the blades of a ceiling fan. She swore she could see each year in between the blades, from thirteen to now.

Now…

Now was the present. It was not or never. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life wondering “What if?”. She was stronger than this and she’d be damned if she lived life with regrets. She refused to leave any room for regret. Regret didn’t have a spot in her agenda. Regret could go bother someone else, but she refused to succumb to it’s trap.

Slowly, Pacifica sat up. She glanced around her room for a moment before her eyes fell on a picture frame. All of her friends were in that frame, and Mabel was standing next to her. Something surged within her and that something gave her the strength to pick up her phone. She slowly looked for the contact she’d been looking for and brought the phone to her ear.

Every ring seemed like an eternity and Pacifica felt the doubt start to creep back up within her. Maybe she shouldn’t do this. Maybe things were fine the way they were. But it was too late to turn back now.

“Hello?”

Her heart almost stopped.

“Pacifica, is that you? Is everything okay? Do you need something?”

Pacifica swallowed. This was it. It was now or never, and the clock was ticking.

“Hey, Mabel?” she started, trying to keep her voice even, “We need to talk…”


End file.
